Tuesday, September 12, 2006

studio rants

Lately I have truly felt like a tortured artist. I go to my studio all pumped and ready and I just KNOW I’m going to crank. Then I get there and I start, nothing much happens. My oil paintings stare at me, annoyingly. I hate them, they’re stupid. My top 3 paintings aren’t nearly as great as I thought they were. In fact, now I only have top 2, but secretly I only think one will make it. I really want to submit my work for this important show juried by a top curator. I have to finish at least 3 paintings in the next week to do this! It’s become impossible to for me to finish a painting in the past 6 months. I start them and start them and start them. I like them, then I hit a bump so I start a new one to keep my momentum going, then I go back to the one with the bump and I push it, I get it back. Then the new one I liked so much suddenly becomes the black sheep. I dislike it so much I can’t get it out of my mind, then suddenly it all comes together. It surprises me and then my favorites aren’t my favorites any more. I’m inching along and I feel I haven’t soared in awhile. My process as of late feels like such a slow struggle. I hope, hope, hope this is normal and I’m not finished! Maybe I should have never transitioned into this new territory! Who says growth is good? Does anyone else feel the same way?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Matchbook Poem

Why does he always go to the wall?
Why does he go to the wall?
He goes the the wall because that is where the door is.

7:03 PM  

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